SoMuchCloser

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• oh i wish i could say it with words link is running in his sleep and the rain is falling on our bathroom skylights.
  
  if everything weren't so perfect, thoughts of going home wouldn't be so god damn depressing. it hurts my heart. i spent the day applying to some more places, as a sort of last hurrah deal. i don't know what's going to happen, and i feel like these few months have gone by too quickly. but i can't keep pretending that i can save for california and pay for everything i have to without a job. so at this point, i'm going home sometime in early july and figuring out how to save..probably going back to my old job. my dad just bought a house and has a finished basement. it would be nice to have my own space, but weird to be living with my family again. also, i have a small heart attack when i think of living in a parent's basement. i want God to pinky swear me that i won't get stuck there and wake up when i'm 30 in the same place.
  
  so, massachusetts again. unless something miraculous happens.
  
  on a happy note; we recorded a little. i'm gonna get the songs on my computer later i hope, and take it from there.
  i have to try and enjoy these guys because i love them so much. yesterday was the first day i realized i'll have to go home, and i almost cried over my sushi. but they're too marvelous to waste any time with them being sad. i want to write, write, write and play, play, play. and smile.
• i don't have to wait around and see i'm definitely writing this instead of the bajillion papers i should be writing. two more weeks full of work and then the semester is overrrrrrrrrrrr. scary/exciting.
  
  thanksgiving break was a whirlwind...mel and kirsten came home with me and we were running around a lot, and i was sick, and sometimes the weather was bad and sometimes my family was scary, but it was a lot of fun at the same time. the sun shone right when we needed it to, and everything seemed to work out just as it should. seeing some family members and driving on the northshore roads and seeing my favorite friends was a refresher that i needed to finish up these next two weeks. i'm only excited to see more of them when i get back for winter break.
  
  i brought back a palm tree and a guitar, along with too much food from my dad's girlfriend. but they make me happy. i'm looking at the palm tree and thinking of happiness, and looking at the guitar makes me do the same. if i didn't have a paper that was overdue, i would google 'how to learn the guitar in a few simple steps.' but alas, i should do some scholarly writing.
  
  xo