SoMuchCloser

things are kind of blah these past few days as the rain falls and my money swiftly runs out. i’m starting to think i thrive on the last minute falling apart parts of life. maybe because i know they usually turn themselves around and then i’m ok for a little while again. i hope that happens this time….

my feelings are giving me a run for my money lately, too. i got myself into somewhat of a sticky guy situation, and now i’m not too sure of which road to take with it. i don’t even know how i feel about him, or what i want. hm.

my big is in the hospital with complication from a routine surgery and it’s got me worried. also, my mom’s still sick from graduation weekend and they can’t figure out what’s going on.

so my brain is buzzing about all of those things. and a few others. but it will pass i hope, and the weekend will bring health, sunshine, happiness (and a jobbbbbbbb?).

damn, jobs are hard to come by. i should be more stressed, because by being so lax about it today, a freak out is sure to come by oh…friday. maybe not friday, as i’ll be occupied with music. maybe monday.
but living on the edge of poverty is super exciting. if i were in a big city, it would be easier to find gigs and random ways to make some cash, which has me hopeful for the future. but for now, i’ll wait to hear from friday’s and see how much i can get for my t.v.

music is making me so happy, as usual. we play day and night, and i’ve even started writing with jon. being in his practice room yesterday just felt so right and we’re going to record our song and send it to his brother who has some hand in a real recording studio. playing with him and luke and bill makes me blissful and i couldn’t imagine any other way of spending my time.

it’s the first rainy day in a while, but i’m ok with it since we’ve been having so much outdoor fun. i’ve been helping bill with his wall mural and getting sunburned, we play in the park almost every day with Link (who is quite good at soccor for a dog) and all sorts of shenanigans in the sun. we went to the fake beach at R.B. Winter’s and i rekindled my love for pennsylvania landscapes. i really do love it here when the weather is warm. and i love my friends..i couldn’t express it enough.

i think my mom is coming to visit this week, which would be fun. and i get to see kara tomorrow! everything (but jobs) is coming up daisies. <3

it’s quiet in my little corner of pennsylvania. my visible friends have been reduced to the guys (Bill, Jon, Eric, Luke - whom i love dearly with all of my heart) and Kari and Mark (who are taking may terms). the guys are at work while i search for a job, and everyone else is scattered across the country now that our lives at Lyco are basically done. my company today is Eric’s dog, Link, who is the world’s most adorable airdale (spelling??) terrier. he’s good company but, much like his owner, is helpless without his caregiver. he’ll come around to me, though.

it’s so surreal that i’m in my first real, non-college owned place. it’s a whole house down a nice little street not to far from the main strip. it’s quiet and big enough for Eric, Luke and myself, and even has a glorious back yard that leads to a stream. we are all moved in and everything is starting to look real. like my real first home. on my own. it’s so pleasant to think about. i’m so happy yet it’s strange because i am now a willing citizen of williamsport, and i’m getting to know the place all over again. these guys are my saviors.

i’m sure days will come when i’m crippled with nostalgia and miss the beach, cookouts, my family, seafood. but for now i’m content with this sort of detached loneliness. and i’m already making incredible summer memories here.
so, come visit. =)

it’s also incredible imagining that i am now a college graduate. i am no longer a student. i have three degrees and i can’t wait to use them..i just need to save up to get where i want to be. i feel oddly out of place in the world, but it’s also envigorating because i have every opportunity right in front of me.

now time to REALLY write. i want music to explode while i’m here. we’re getting there.

<3