SoMuchCloser

i want to take you far
from the cynics in this town
and kiss you on the mouth
we’ll cut our bodies free
from the tethers of this scene
start a brand new colony
where everything will change
we’ll give ourselves new names
identities erased
the sun will heat the grounds
under our bare feet

we can’t come up with a band name..any ideas?
i voted.
the skies are blue.
it’s long weekend.
i was super SUPER productive today. ( i scheduled my last ever semester [that is, if bill doesn't convince me to go to the galapagos for may term])
friends are coming over tonight.
all’s clear for a good next few days (minus the work i have to do…)

xxxxxxxxoooooooooooo

the VP candidates are both coming to lyco tomorrow. it’s strange how much of a hub this seems to be. we already had obama and bill. (notice how the dems are really representing…)
i have my absentee ballot, and it’s super exciting. i know we think this is the most important thing ever, if not only because we are just now of an age to realize it’s always been equally as important (or un). but i’m proud of how informed i’ve stayed and i feel like a part of something huge, which i’m going to feel even more of on tuesday. here’s hopinggggg.

things with boy have not gone at all as planned. we talk every day and i feel like there’s more of an attraction on his part now that we’re not striving for a relationship. i will never understand men. i guess it’s keeping me busy. whatever, really.

i have one more day of classes, and then long weekend, which i am so looking forward to. i really need to get work done and this is the perfect time to do it since no one will be around. i have two presentations next week that pretty much showcase all that i’ve learned in archaeology and french since i’ve been here. and i scheduled them (unknowingly) on the same day. so, heart attack aside, i really need to prepare myself 1000 percent.

i’ve been feeling kind of shitty since last week, physically. i didn’t get out of bed from monday night to yesterday afternoon, but i’m starting to feel better now. it’s always surprising the people that are there for you when you need them. friends always pleasantly surprise.

so winter break comes wayy early for us this year. i come back from thanksgiving and then i have a week of classes and a week of finals and i’m back home. for 4 weeks. that is entirely too long. i invited bill up for the last week, i’m hoping he can come up and bond musically with my dad and we can play on the streets for change and gum wrappers. that would be super amazing and a really good sign that we’re going places.

anyways! have a safe halloween, folks.

xxoo

yesterday my life was like a movie..the good indie type that very few people see but it inspires every one of them.
i woke up super early and made pancakes for some of my favorite people, and then we all just sat around and talked, laid around and played with eachothers’ hair and enjoyed the lazy sunday morning.
then bill and i went with bryan to the most inspirational place in pennsylvania and had an afternoon of awesomeness. we had a whole ancient, slowly cracking house to ourselves, and tons of land around us to make us feel like children during breaks. it was so amazing there, and i can’t wait to go back. we started OUR VERY FIRST SONG TOGETHER! which, of course, will blow you away when it’s done. i just can’t even describe how wonderful this all is.
i’m a pretty lucky chick.

don’t forget to enjoy every second of this border-time of autumn. it’s not freezing yet. it’s crisp and blue and the leaves are making their last appearances. don’t miss it. if you enjoy every little thing in every little day, that adds up to a whole lot of child-like happiness.

il faut que tu respire
ca c’est rien de le dire
tu va pas mourir de rire
c’est pas rien de le dire

“Nothing is final. One day you’re high. The next day you’re low. You might have a funky, expressive, or awful haircut today, but soon it will grow into something else, something new and random. Maybe you grew up liking pop music and boy bands, but now you like a specific mash up of Electronic & Classical. You might decide you don’t want to smoke cigarettes anymore; that it’s just not who you are. Maybe you were a staunch republican but now have curiosities about the well-spoken and well-organized Democratic Nominee. Perhaps you were madly in love last week, but woke up today feeling comfort in solitude, without a desire to be held.”
“You will be safe behind your honest decisions and mood swings.”

– the words of the wise wise wise jason mraz. that totally encompasses my feelings these past few days. i ended things with boy for various reasons, and that’s ok. it’s just wierd to think of how a week can change things, or two months.
and it’s also good to know that perhaps in a week’s time or two months’ time i will be in that super awesome place again. i’m still there, but just in other departments.
i’m holding out for sunday, a day i’m devoting entirely to music and adventure.
so. yea.
happy fridayyyyyyyyyyyy. xxoo

i have hours upon hours to work.
i have had days upon weeks to plan something for this wednesday that i am in charge of planning.
-i don’t want to do any of it. i seriously, with every bit of me, just want to write and read and sing and play and talk and laugh and drink and sit in the sun. there’s nothing else.
it’s not that i don’t have motivation to do anything. it’s just that i don’t have the want to do menial, silly things that we’ve created as obstacles to our “real” lives.

this past weekend was crazy and fun and emotionally abundant. we played at the pep rally friday on the quad, and that was super fun. everyone loved us, and after there were incredible fireworks. it was intense. then we all came back to my apartment and drank, laughed, ate ramen, and had heart to hearts. and watched the sox kick ass.
saturday beat me up in every sense; i spent 4 hours digging test pits and finding nothing but the heaviest clay you can imagine. then i napped all day and cocktailed and went out with all of my sisters. but i got myself down by thinking i could dance with the wrong person and feeling guilty and whore-ish for things that were said and how i was treated. but it’s not my fault men are scum.
anyways, homecoming was fun..it was great to see old faces and even better to realize i didn’t want to see
some again for a very long time.

totally off topic - i’ve decided that if/when i have a baby someday, i want to raise them in a super awesomely simple place, like africa. even if it’s just for a few years. i was in virginia yesterday for emily’s mom’s wedding and it’s so cool to hear her stories about when she was younger. i say it’s a scary world to raise kids, but i think it’s just our world that is scary. and if they have the right tools, they can handle it.

ugh, i guess i’ll do some work.

but i can’t remember life without you
i think i did have good days
i think i did have good days

i hate that we love to play games in relationships. i’m especially bad at it..kirsten told me last night that i need a constant state of tension. hm.

hall crawl is happening as we speak, and i’m just hanging out with some rosee and paolo nutini. i missed the last two homecomings because of mono and france, and i really should go down there since it’s my last year. but eh, i’m not feeling it. bill and i were supposed to play at it, but we got moved to the pep rally on fridayy…woo! haha it’s so funny, but i’m excited; i just like playing with him, anywhere. anyways, i played homecoming volleyball, and i’m going to be in all of the weekend festivities, so it’s cool.

josh’s wedding was amazing, and so much fun. i got to see tons of friends that have graduated, and lots and lots of amish people. it was fabulous. he’s the most wonderful person i have ever met, and i’m the happiest for him i could possibly be. they’re going to have an awesome marriage, which gives me lots of hope for love.
i’ve been starry-eyed about boy since then, especially after him and emily bonded. she didn’t really like him before, but she’s come around and that makes me even happier.

classes and work and money strings are starting to get me a little stressed, but i keep telling myself it doesn’t matter. i’m doing what i have to do, and breathing while i’m at it. all of this silly work is just a staircase leading to where i want to be, so if i just breathe and do it, i’ll be fine.

happy wednesday =]

xo

someone tell me to stop taking life and relationship advice from cosmo and astrology. please?

oh and go sox. <3

fall is here, and it’s more beautiful than i give it credit for.

i love being self critical, and lately i’ve noticed something huge: i am an arrogant s.o.b.
i always have a subconcious eyebrow raised. and i’ve gotta stop that. i find it everywhere; in my music, in my classes, in my languages, in my friendships, in my relationship. so i’m working on it nowwww.

so everything is going as fab as ever. my classes are going along quite well, except i really dislike my field archaeology class. the labs are cool, i get to reconstruct artifacts and get filthy in the dirt with a trowel, but the actual class is a freak show. including the mutants at table 9, if you will.
i feel like classes and clubs and choir keep me so busy and running that when i do have time for music and boy and recliner girl talk, it’s awesome. and God knows that when that free time comes, it’s not work that’s getting done. i’m falling behind in assignments, but i’m running ahead in life so i find that it’s ok.
music is the coolest thing still. we’re getting together tonight to do some lyrics work and then tomorrow to practice. last practice we had, our friend brought his bongos and all i can say about that in one word is completeness. it sounded incredible. i’ve never done anything like this, and it’s still just like the first day. it’s a musical honeymoon period that never ends.
and things continue to float along with boy, which makes me smile. going on sixish weeks and i’m only a little bit freaked out by that.

smile, smile, it’s wednesday.
and this weekend is josh’s wedding, which is going to be a happiness fest. ugh i can’t waitttt.

xxoo