SoMuchCloser

last night bill and i took a spontaneous trip to a small nowhere town about an hour and a half away to play at their open mic. we dragged mark along and he shared his angelic voice with everyone. it was perfect. we messed up, we fumbled, we blushed at people’s responses. but it was great, just what i wanted out of yesterday. the drive was long and rainy and we had more fun than i’ve had in a while. i love it.

ok, time to gulp my java down and go wash artifacts.

i feel like going on a random, spontaneous adventure today. i want to do something crazy, go somewhere far. but alas, here i am by my rainy day view, counting the hours til i have something to do.
work doesn’t interest me. at all. it’s piling up, and this could get ugly.

i was sitting in class today and i looked out the small window in the door and saw the brick on the hallway wall. it hit me all of a sudden how much i’m going to miss this place. i can’t even believe it’s my last year here. and i get scared about what i’m doing with my life afterward. it’s never been scary, i always knew what i wanted. and now…i don’t. plain and simple:  i have no idea what i’m going to do next year. it’s exciting, i love a blank canvas, but this is the sort of thing that i have to plan for. i need to look for a place to live, a job of sorts, a location. it’s not something i can just do. well, it would be if i had the money. but i feel like there are a million possibilities, and i need someone to flick me with their giant godly finger in the right direction.

//when all of this
around us
will fall over
i tell you what we’re gonna do…

it’s funny how good coffee and sunshine can make my whole day amazing.

i’m thinking about how wonderful things are, and how they have been for a while, and feeling guilty for how lucky i am. i’m also thinking a lot about how this relationship thing i’m in is just right. we’re taking things super slow and it’s relaxed and unstated and just nice.

bill and i are looking to play out in a few weeks or sooner. we’re rocking out at least a song a practice, so our number is up there. and so i’m thinking it’s time to share the awesomeness with everyone.

i miss my dad and my brother, but in a really harmonious way.. like i miss just being close to them. my brother called just to chat the other day, and it makes my heart smile.

i love wednesdays.

it’s the last-ish day of summer, which is exciting and sad at the same time. i love the fall, but winter is a scary thing.

watch the movie Once. it’s amazing, i’m in love. bill and i are already learning one of the songs, but the whole experience is wonderful, the soundtrack and the film itself.

it’s family weekend..blah. it’s cool, but wierd..it’s my last family weekend. and i convinced my mom not to come, which makes me feel shitty in retrospect. but i didn’t want her driving alone. or with my dad.

it’s funny thinking about this time last year…in france.

maybe it’s the mourning of summer but i feel really chill and whatever today. i wanted to go to the football game, but i was thrown off a bit. i would just rather sit here with the candles and warmth and write some more music i suppose.

bill and i busted out two new songs last night, even though we talked and story told and schemed. i love what’s happening, and i can’t wait to start original stuff, which i think is going to happen faster than either of us anticipated.
everything is right and how i’ve ever wanted it at any given moment. it’s funny how in talking last night i realized that there’s nothing that i want. sure, i would love to have a little extra cash, but other than that ev er y thing is just enough.
the only bad thing is thinking about what happens after i graduate. i had a plan but it’s all shifted now, not necessarily in a bad way, but definitely shifted. i say i don’t have to worry about that now, but i really should have some idea. i’m gonna wait a while to see where this goes with bill and our wonder-music and then try and make some choices. he said to me last night, “i’m already thinking of ways to keep this going after you graduate” which, honestly - rocks. he says he wants me to get him out of this town, so who knows? maybe i will.
other than that! classes are classes, leadership in the sorority is scary but awesome, boy is still keeping me on my toes, and friends are showing up out of the wazoo. i’m going tonight to see this band that i met in north carolina with the family of a good friend who graduated. that probably doesn’t make sense to you, that’s how awesome my friendships have become over the years.
and in the near future there will be hiking, awesome weddings, and family weekend. bring it, life.

this past weekend was quite possibly one of the best everr. saturday night we went to the pub (which has become a ritual, even now after i’ve lost interest in trying to reel in the bartender) and hung out for a long time. bill and a few coworkers showed up towards the end of the night, and we sat in wonderful, interesting, fun conversations until they kicked us out. then boy came over and we spent a long time talking and blank and blank. he hates the pub, but got out of bed to visit me, which i thought was cute.
sunday was spent being lazy and hanging out at bill’s, playing music and laughing and drinking some intense coffee. it’s crazy/scary/awesome how in a week i feel like i know him better than a lot of people. we’re both freaked out by this musical soulmate-ness we have. it’s cool.
and so now it’s back to the week, the rigamoro..i don’t know how to spell that. i’ve got spring fever already…i don’t think that’s possible.
<3

priority = making music.
this is going places already, and it’s fucking pumping me up. like changing-future-plans pumping me up.

ok so bill is the coolest, most qualified guitarist ever. as a person he’s real, cool, addicted to coffee, and majorly into music for the sake of music. and as a musician he’s intense, talented and passionate. this is the best thing ever, and we’re both really pumped about and addicted to this…project i guess. not to mention hopped up on caffiene.
we spent all of yesterday just jamming and exchanging ideas and talking until we had to tell ourselves to shut up. and he’s got this awesome room that makes my voice sound a million times better than it really is. and he can sing! did i say that? oh man. ok. excitement.

i’m so ready for this weekend, even if it consists of digging in muncy and football with boy. everything i’m doing is all i want to do..music, friends, love(ishness/the broad umbrella of it), archaeology.

and even though i despise thursdays, life is so good.

=]

aloha from the other side of labor day weekend (which wasn’t long for us private school lyco-ers..)! it was crazy and fun filled, as i had predicted. we ventured to brooklynn and back, had a wee birthday party full of surprises, and pubbed it (like always). now here i sit at the end of a longggg tuesday, eating a rice creation i made and waiting for the girls to get back so we can have wine night. i think tuesdays and thursdays will always be wine nights from now on.

so dreadlocks boy is keeping me on my toes..i can’t quite figure him out. but i guess that’s what i need, since i get bored so easily. we’re just floating along.

guitarist is coming over tomorrow, i’m trying to make a cool cd for him right now. he said he’s got one for me, so the pressure’s on. he’s so cool, and seems really excited to work with me, so i’m pumped.

we had a reunion with our senior mentors when we were freshman..it was awesome to see them and hear all of their news, but strange to think we’re only where they were when we met. huh.

today hosted one of those fucking cold mornings. and leaves are on the ground. i love the fall, i really do, but i’m scared for winterrrr. the only thing that would make it ok would be to have [           } with me then. but that’s just getting ahead of myself!

ok, drinky time.